We live in a world where the phrase; “what’s your Social Media”, is more common than ever. Every now and then you’ll meet the rare individual who doesn’t use any. And we look at them in awe. Sometimes I wish I could be like those people. Unattached. Off the grid. But I’m a singer and yoga teacher of the millennial era. I consider myself someone who can use the Social Media platform as a way to promote and communicate. I also actually keep in touch with some family members and friends that way. Not to mention, it makes a pretty cool timeline of events for you to look back on. There are many benefits. But since being introduced to it, I could never shake the feeling of how bad it could be for us. And how this new way of connecting was more like a popularity contest.
With that being said. I still use it, Instagram being my favorite. I keep Facebook more for my family. I’m not really on anything else. Other than this blog, of course. I have a serious love hate relationship when it comes to Social Media. Thankfully, I’ve learned a lot in the past 10 years or so that I’ve had it, and I can now say I understand how it can be used for positivity.
I’ve followed many and I’ve been unfollowed by more than I can count. I’ve unfollowed others because they unfollowed me. Even got sucked into the “like for a like” game for a while too. I’ve watched myself get irritated at things that probably had nothing to do with me. I’ve been verbally attacked on Facebook a few times. Been messaged by so many men and women wanting to “get to know me better”, it’s pretty alarming. Seen some people become Instagram famous, knowing some of them personally, and wondering… “but how?” I’ve watched internet feuds play out and witnessed some controversial posts concerning my “friends”.
If you ask me, Social Media has caused quite a bit of headaches. So how do we get a control of it you ask? You make the choice to be in control, and not let it replace meaningful activities in your life.
I remember in my early 20’s I met with a couple of big shots in the music industry. One of the first questions was always; “how many followers do you have?” I wanted to scream each time. But what about my talent?! The thing is, I can’t blame them. How much easier is it for an A&R to develop an artist who already has a following? It made me really discouraged about the whole thing, but also made me understand what was and wasn’t important to me. What to share and what not to share? That is the question. But why is it all so complicated!?
My husband, Daniel and I have lots of nieces and nephews. About to have our 21st, to be exact. I think about them a lot and how they will handle this age of technology. This age where anything can be videotaped and posted. Where girls and boys think ‘filters’ and ‘likes’ equal worth. The place where predators prey on our young. The place where bullies can attack, or where something embarrassing can go viral and ruin someone’s self image. The age where our young girls feel more pressure that ever to look a certain way and show more skin, for ‘likes’. Parental control should be advised more than ever. And don’t get me wrong, I fully support self expression, but how can we expect our 13 year old to understand that imitating Cardi B’s post (I’m a fan btw) doesn’t make them cool. We scroll and scroll till our hands hurt. Sometimes we post a little too much. Sometimes we just watch and don’t post at all.
Sometimes pictures can make a big impression, but so often it’s just a small snapshot in time, of a person’s real life. So in all actuality, how much of this shit really matters and how do we get a grip on everything?
With age and experience, post whatever you feel comfortable with. Especially if you have grown into a person who understands their own limits. If you’re an adult who feels more frustrated with social media than joy… get rid of it – or at least take a break from it.
First and foremost, realize that Social Media is not real life. People will post what they want, whether positive or negative. It’s your choice how you react to it. ‘Follows’ and ‘likes’ do not measure a person’s worth. I now think of Social Media as my business card. Some people put a little more time into promoting their business online and some people decide they’d rather utilize their time elsewhere.
If you have any kind of account make sure you’re not glued to the screen. Make the choice to use Social Media for good. Share positivity. If you’d like to share some of what’s happening in your personal life, that’s great. Use it as a way to document special or important moments, but set limits. If it’s your goal to spread your message to as many people as possible, that’s awesome. There are many tools and techniques to help you do that. If you happen to actually have thousands of followers, due to a bit of fame or power, use your posts to uplift. But more than anything, be authentic you. Don’t ever feel ashamed of who you are, or don’t feel pressure to be someone you’re not. If you share something, know that everyone won’t like it and expect varying reactions. Be prepared to deal with that. Most importantly, remember to put down the phone and look in people’s eyes when they’re talking. Unplug a while before bed. Give yourself a daily time limit for any Social Media.
I’m almost 30 and only now I can say I have a hold on Social Media. I know my limits, and I know to avoid a post or picture that makes me feel uncomfortable. I have an idea of how I would handle any kind of social media drama. And yes I made mistakes but I learnt from them. Enjoy technology and social sites for what it is, but don’t take it too seriously. Post whatever makes you happy, providing it comes from a place of love and respect. Who cares who likes it or not!? And remember you’re dope in real life!
•
•
•
Edited by Ingrid Jagrup
📸 @dmateophotography
