For a Season… For a Reason

We’ve all been through it in some form or another. You know; that friend you think “friends forever” and then in the blink of an eye you’re sitting there wondering how it all came to an end.

I had that friend…The one you’ve known for over 20 years. Did everything together. Told everything to.

There was once a time I even considered us sisters. Sometimes I think back on that time in my life like some distant memory that doesn’t even belong to me. So how did I lose a bff?! There are so many layers to that story I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I think the more important question is how it impacted my life.

I remember when we first “broke up” seeing all the “some friends are for a season” memes. I took screenshots of all the inspirational quotes and told all my family and friends about the big falling out. I was surprisingly okay about it. I think because I knew beforehand that the friendship was coming to an end.

That was over 4 years ago.

I’ve grown a lot since then. Got married to an amazing man. Worked my ass off to become the kind of woman who gets paid to do the things she loves. Dog mom. Traveling where and when I want. Having a beautiful place to call home and nurturing the relationships with people I love. Honestly, I’m pretty proud of my hard work.

But boy oh boy did I have to fight to get here. And not in the way you may think. I had to fight myself.

Your early 20s is the era of finding out who you really are and the kind of person you would like to be. It’s a big transition for most. The age when you’re expected to leave home and spread your wings. For me, it was about learning to control my ego and the “evil” voice in my head.

Here’s the thing: when you grow there are many things you have to learn to let go of. It might hurt. It might be confusing.

In terms of relationships with other people: it will last if it’s strong enough. And should end if it’s toxic. END OF STORY.

My biggest lesson was being able to look in the mirror and take responsibility for the pain I may have caused. I realized playing the blame game is soooo the age of adolescence.

I truly believe when we as individuals are fighting to grow, sometimes there’s a bit of projection. It’s a defense mechanism. And don’t get me wrong, we are 100% validated for our feelings. Our feelings are real and are trying to tell us what’s going on in our heads. But could it be that maybe in the time of conflict our emotions are high? Of course! So sit back and breathe. And take responsibility people! It’s so refreshing.

Sometimes the things that bother us in other individuals are traits that remind us of ourselves or traits that remind us of other people that hurt us. At the end of the day it takes two to tango! And maybe your loved one really did do something terrible to hurt you. But if there is any guilt or anger with yourself; those feelings need to be dealt with love and patience. And most importantly; forgiveness. To the person and yourself.

I’m so happy to say that I’m able to think back on those years and that friendship with a smile now. All the growth and lessons. All the great memories. That season really wasn’t that bad. It rained a lot towards the end. But it was pretty damn amazing.